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Emory Women Writers Resource Project Collections:
Emory Women Writers Resource Project

The Gentlewoman's Companion: or, A Guide to the Female Sex, an electronic edition

by Hannah Woolley [Woolley, Hannah, fl. 1670]

date: 1675
source publisher: Printed by A. Maxwell for Edward Thomas
collection: Early Modern through the 18th Century

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An impertinent and lying Travellers Discourse with his witty and Jocose Mistress.

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Erraticus. Constantia.

Errat. Madam,, your Seat is so incomparable, that I have not seen a better in all my Travels.
Constant. It seems then you are a Traveller.
Errat. I am no less: Did you never travel, Lady?
Constant. I hope, Sir, you do not take me for a Lady-errant; however, Sir, I shall acknowledg I have travel'd through the Universe, and yet was never out of my own Country.
Errat. Hey day! How can that be?
Constant. I pity your want of apprehension; why, Sir, this is no such notorious contradition, if you consider that the Cosmographers of these latter times have taught us in their Books to surround the world, and yet never stir a foot; I have read of some Countries.
Errat. And you may hear talk of many wonderful passages; but pish, talk is but talk; give me the man hath measur'd those Countries you have heard talk of; and can readily recount you the names of all the petty Towns as well as Cities in a whole Kingdom.
Constant. You have seen many Cities abroad, I pray what think you of London?
Errat. London! Ha, ha, ha, like a Cock-boat to the Royal-Soveraign, comparatively to Cities I have seen.
Constant. I pray name one, Sir.

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Errat. Why, Madam, I took shipping in the Downs, and had no sooner arrived to the height of the Cape of Good-hope, but passing by the Gaimanians, Hungarians and Sclavonians, I came to Vienna, a pretty village, and for scituation much like Hamsted, its distance is about seven leagues from Civil, from whence we are stor'd with Oranges.
Constant. Sir, I have read that Vienna is in Germany, and Civil in Spain.
Errat. Pish, what care I for reading; however as you say, I cannot but acknowledg the people in Spain are as much or more Civil than any other; but is Civil be not in Germany, then I was neither in Civil nor Vienna in my life; I have been in Paris too, and do know the founder thereof.
Constant. Pray, Sir, inform my curiousity with the name of the Founder.
Errat. His name was Parismus the son of Palmerin of England, and hence the City was called Paris ; some would have it called Lutettia, because the women are so well skill'd in an instrument called a Lute.
Constant. Good Sir, proceed; what observations did you make whilst you were in that famous City?
Errat. In the first place there is a famous University called Pontneuse, whose Students ply their busness very notably; studying most part of the night, and are such notable disputants, they consute all that come that way after nine at night.
Here are excellent Comedians, the Women are | | 260 the best, who act their parts notably, and take great pains to do things to the life. In the Summer-time Foot-boys and Lacguys do here (warm as flyes in August; and the season is so sultry-hot, that the fiery heat continues with the people all the Winter following.
Riding one day in the street, a dust arose so thick and great that I lost my way; that way I rid, the wind drove the dust, and did not leave me till I was within a league of Naples, and then I found where I was.
Constant. What a loss had England sustain'd had you never been found!
Errat. Entring this City I found the people all clad in silk, too soft and effeminate for me to converse withal. From hence I went to Florence, from whence we borrow the art of making Custards, which are therefore called Florentines. From hence I went to Florence, from whence we borrow the art of making Custards, which are therefore called Florentines. From hence I went to Milan, famous for Haberdashers, from thence called in London Millaners. Thence to Padua, hence come our Padding or Stroling Doctors, vulgarly called Mountebanks.
Constant. You report wonders! Go on, Sir.
Errat. Of all the Champane Countries in the world, Venice for my money. What lofty Mountains and pleasant Valleys! What spacious Downs for the merry hunt! Oh how I have made the Woods ring there with the Dukes dogs! And now I talk of him, I had never left the place ahd it not been for the excessive love of his chiel Concubine towards me; who being discovered stealing the Piezzi to carry with her in her journey with me for England, was secur'd, and I forc'd to fly for't.

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Constant. Is't possible?
Errat. I took poste from thence to Genoa, from thence to Madrid, and so to Leyden.
Constant. Excellent; and how were you entertain'd by the Dutch?
Errat. We were drunk together every day; but I'le say this for them, the Devil's but a Dunce to them, when they are in their drink. The last thing I heard there, was a design to charm the Indies, and bring it to Amsterdam in Butter-Firkins. Had I staid longer in Holland I should have dyed on a surseit of Bore; but I wash it down with a Fox at Flushing; here I met with a bucksome Froe, with whom I went to Middleburgh, and left her as drunk as a Bitch at Rotterdam, and so taking shipping, from thence I landed at Trigstairs.
Constant. Well, Sir, I see the difference between you and truth is so great, that there cannot be expected a reconcilement; wherefore I shall leave you.
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